Friday, May 30, 2008

Sleeping With the Enemy

I am picturing this as a high school date movie in the same vein as She's All That or 10 Things I Hate About You.

Eric is in love. Beth is the most beautiful girl he has ever seen. She is confident, smart and fun and Eric just can't get enough of her. The only problem is that she doesn't even know he exists. He tries his best to get noticed, leaves notes in her locker, he memorizes her class schedule, tries to sit close to her at lunch, and takes a similar route home from school. When all of this fails Eric comes up with a crazy plan to get Beth to go to the prom with him.
Eric creates an alternate persona using MySpace and Facebook. Carlos, a foreign exchange student from Spain who is super sexy and has "just moved in" with Eric's family. Using the internet "Carlos" bcomes friends with Beth and all of her friends. This finally gets Eric some attention because he is the host of this new European heartthrob, but all anyone ever talks to Eric about is where Carlos is and Eric has to resort to all sorts of zany things to cover up the fact that Carlos isn't real.
Finally Beth agrees to go to the prom with Carlos but Eric shows up saying that Carlos had a family emergency and asked Eric to go instead and that he would try to meet up with Beth later. Beth is disappointed but agrees to go with Eric. They have a nice time and as Beth gets to know Eric better she realizes that he is pretty funny and kind of cute.
Then Eric takes Beth to a hotel where he says Carlos will meet her. Beth suggests Eric stay and hang out with her until Carlos comes. Eric is so happy. This is his dream come true, except for the Carlos part. Eric finally has the courage to tell the truth.
"Beth... Carlos isn't coming. I am Carlos and I love you."
Eric was hoping that Beth would realize that the man she had been in love with all along was really Eric and then they would make sweet love. Instead Beth is actually kind of creeped out. No, she is REALLY creeped out. She tries to leave but Eric doesn't let her and when she tells Eric that he is a psycho and that she could never love him he holds a pillow over her face until her body stops writhing and she is finally at peace.
Eric needs to hide the body. Because she would never sleep with him in life, Eric takes the body back to his house and stuffs it into his mattress so that he can sleep with it every night. And they all live happily ever after.
Except for Beth. She's dead.

2 comments:

manda said...

this is funny, but also terrible. funny because it is so terrible.

DJ Skillz said...

Uhhh... You are way off. If it was "terrible" we would have written about it on a blog called "Terrible Ideas For Movies".