Little Shop of Whores

The costume shop on the corner seems like any other costume shop. They have a variety of costumes ranging from naughty nurse to sexy kitten. But as a group of 4 young, hot, and stupid friends are about to find out, it is anything but normal.

It's Halloween already but Chase, Mia, Beth, and Tom still haven't decided what they are going to dress up as, so they are going to the costume shop just to browse and get some ideas. While they are there Tom discovers a secret room in the back. A sign on the door reads "Enter at your own risk!" Tom's curiosity gets the better of him and inside he finds a room full of dusty shelves and random items here and there, including a magic 8 ball. The creepy Asian guy who owns the costume shop warns Tom about the magic 8 ball saying that it can only tell you what you will be for Halloween, but it is always 100% accurate.

The four friends think that the 8 ball must be broken when it tells all of them that they will be rapists. But it isn't broken. It isn't broken at all.

My Boyfriend's Back... For More

Dave and Sue like to make out in the dark. They especially like to make out in the dark after Halloween parties while Sue is still wearing her slutty Halloween outfit. Tonight, as they are making out in Sue's basement, they both notice that it's a little sloppier than normal, but they keep going for it anyway. After a few minutes Sue stops Dave and says "Wow, you're making it kinda wet tonight huh?"

"Me, you're the one drooling all over the place." Dave replies.

Sue gets up and turns on the light. When they see each other they gasp-- Their faces are both smeared with blood.

"What happened?" Beth asks.

Dave answers, "I don't know Sue, either you gave me a bloody nose cause you were going at it so hard, OR I am trying to eat you cause I am an effing Zombie, Bitch!"

Turns out it was the second one. And he did eat her. Well... her brain at least. Though he found it to be less than filling.

Of course, I could have told him that by looking at her Halloween costume.

The OTHER Ryan White Story

It's October 31, 1984 and Martin can't wait for the trick-or-treaters. Halloween is easily Martin's favorite holiday, probably because it combines two of Martin's favorite things: kids and costumes. Martin is new to this neighborhood and doesn't know what time to expect trick-or-treaters, but he sure doesn't want to miss them so he made sure to finish the last batch of chocolate covered GHB before 4 PM just in case. Martin has been laying low for the last month and a half so none of his neighbors have gotten to know him that well, and none of his neighbors suspect a thing...

Unfortunately, neither does Martin. You see, because he hasn't gotten to know his neighbors he doesn't know that the 13 year old boy next door is a hemophiliac. Nope, all Martin knows is that the kid looks pretty good in that Superman suit. And he knows he's going to leave the mask on...

Roe(bot) VS Wade

In the year 2010 professional athletes are in danger of becoming obsolete. No, not because society realized that watching someone else play a game is a waste of time. But because the rich white people that own the sports teams realized that people will still watch the games even if they replace the athletes with robots. But Heavy Weight Boxing Champion of the World John H. Wade isn't about to let that happen. He challenges the robot boxer and the robot boxer is programed to accept that challenge. John gets ready for what promises to be the fight of the century through a montage composed of shots including but not limited to John jumping rope, John lifting weights, John punching a speed bag, John running through the city, John doing sit-ups, and John injecting steroids in between his toes. This montage will also include shots of the robot powered down and sitting in a closet for storage. The night of the big fight John's wife tries to convince him not to fight the robot by reminding him that his punches are not likely to have any effect besides possibly shattering the bones in his own hand. But John gives a long monologue about how he can't just sit back and let robots steal jobs away from professional athletes (this is where I will tell the audience the theme ;)). About 90 seconds into the first round, after John has shattered all the bones in both of his hands, the robot successfully lands a punch to John's body with such force that his chest collapses and his heart stops immediately. The good news is that the robot did not hit him in the face and Mrs. Wade is able to have an open casket funeral.

I am thinking of two possible sequels. Either the robot becomes sentient and develops a moral opposition to killing innocent boxers and decides to use his abilities to become a bouncer that cleans up rowdy bars, I'll call it "Ro(bot)ad House", OR the rich white people that be decide that they will make much more money if they continue to pit robots against humans, who have no chance of survival, and recruit their fighters from prisons by offering freedom to any inmate that can beat the robot, I would call this one "Death Race 2 The Ring"