Saturday, January 19, 2008

Game Over

Harold has the perfect life, a great job as CEO of an up and coming cmpany, a beautiful wife, three great kids, and his own little palace in the suburbs. But Harold has been having headaches lately. He makes an appointment with the doctor and after some tests he is sent to a specialist who discovers that Harold has a malignant brain tumor. The bad news is it's terminal. The good news is he still has another four to eight months to live. Suddenly Harold becomes obsessed with tying up loose ends. He spends all his time calling old friends to say goodbye, resolving unresolved disputes, and trying to finish everything he's ever started. Mostly this means video games. There are hundreds of video games that Harold had played once or twice but had never finished and now he is on a mission to beat them all. He quits his job and basically lives in the basement playing video games, coming up to eat once, sometimes twice a day. His wife wants to go on a long vacation so that their family can enjoy his last days on earth and so the kids will have some great last memories of him. But Harold can't agree to this unless he is able to complete the games he has been playing first. His wife is so upset by this that she unplugs Harold's game and yells "If all you are going to do is play these stupid video games then you are already dead to me." Then Harold ties her up and gags her and sticks her in the closet. He tells the kids that their Mommy didn't love them anymore and so she left and that he can't take care of them because he is dying. Then he drives them to an orphanage. He goes back to his games and four months later Harold emerges from the basement having completed all the games that he had started throughout the years. His tumor finally gets the best of him and he passes out as he is going through his empty refrigerator. He never wakes up. Because his wife is dead in the closet and his kids are now orphans, no one is there to clean him up when he has his final bowel movement.

1 comment:

Playa!!! said...

Okay, I change my mind--this is the best one so far.